Marriage Confidential: The Post Romantic Age by Pamela Haag

Publisher: Harper 
Publication Date: May 2011
Categories: Nonfiction, Marriage
Source: Library

Marriage Confidential tackles this question with bracing candor, taking us inside a world where romantic ideas have given way to a “post-romantic” mood and a fair number of marriages end up “semi-happy.” It’s a world where the husbands of “workhorse wives” pursue the Having It All dream that married women have abandoned; where children have migrated from the children’s table to the centerpiece; and where technology, demography, and economy place unprecedented stresses on marital fidelity. Among other examples of marriage trailblazers, Haag even presents a case for how updated ideas of non-monogamy might be an option for the future.

Uniquely weaving together cultural commentary, memoir, storytelling, history, and research, Marriage Confidential gives us a riveting glimpse of what the future of marriage might look like.

My Thoughts:

Marriage Confidential reads as a long opinion piece. It was quite dry in spots and it wasn’t what I would call cohesive. Although I wasn’t a big fan of this book there were a lot of sections that made me think. And that, my friends, is one of my favorite things about reading.

Some of the things that made my mind start a’spinnin and a’thinkin:

The trend of voluntary austerity. 
I’ve often wanted to sell everything I own and move to the woods. No, I’m not outdoorsy. I am, however, sick of stuff.

The popularity of running, bigger bathrooms, and people who don’t mind long commutes. 
This all speaks to the fact that people are longing for ALONE TIME. I wouldn’t mind an hour commute myself. I’m a stay at home, homeschooling mom. My commute is from the coffee pot to the computer.

The way couples are redefining marriage to make it work for them.
Nonmonogomy is on the rise. Couples divorce but continue to live together. Polyamory is becoming more popular. Don’t ask, Don’t tell is more than an outdated military policy.

People find ways to make marriage more manageable in our modern times. They don’t all sound normal (whatever that is) but who are we to make sweeping judgments about how people decide to run their lives?

Vive la différence!

14 thoughts on “Marriage Confidential: The Post Romantic Age by Pamela Haag

  1. I'm with you on all the stuff–more stuff just creates more stress. I think alone time is so important, too, as is making time for the things that you enjoy to do, even if they're just about you. I try to give my husband the space to do that and he generally returns the favor.


  2. I don't think I will pick this one up after reading your thoughts, but I think it's so important for us to keep re-evaluating our relationships. Even our interactions with the people we know and love the best change with time. May your walk from the coffee pot to the computer be long and quiet this week. 🙂


  3. Hmmm interesting. I'd like to try this one just to read some more of those unique tidbits like the ones you posted. I agree with the one re: running/commutes/etc…does this explain my love for running the last few years? haha.


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