How To Make Sure I Never Read Your Blog

Please use the smallest font size you possibly can, the smaller the better.

Enable word verification because deciphering those suckers is a hoot.

Use a dark background and a neon font color.

Make sure music plays automatically when I open your page.

Is it wicked hard for me to interact with you? Super!

Clutter the hell out of your page. Preferably with blinking buttons and ads.

Normally I’m not such a crab-ass.
Tomorrow I’ll be unicorns and sunshine. I promise.

45 thoughts on “How To Make Sure I Never Read Your Blog

  1. Oops, I'm guessing that you've browsed quite a few of those recently? I agree with all of the above, and would like to add that annoying Javascript thing that makes snow (or other stuff) fall on one's screen. Distracting! And preferably no flash either people!


  2. This made my morning. I never understood those people who decided that their blog had to look like an Angelfire homepage from 1996. (The '90s were exceptional except for that whole midi file on your website craze.) I agree on every single one of the points you've raised, especially the background color/font. If it hurts my eyes to read a blog, I'm not going to read that blog.


  3. I hate all of those things too! The clutter thing really bothers me because then their page takes forever to load. I usually give up. lol And I tend to go through ,y google reader and click to open a bunch of updates before I comment on one so if music is going off, I have NO idea where it is coming from. I hate that. πŸ™‚


  4. Amen to this list. Especially the word verification. So annoying and often times not discernible. Luckily playlists aren't licensed for the UK so they're all disabled automatically Yay for never having to listen to other people's crap taste in music.One of my pet peeves is really long paragraphs on blog posts. When the whole post is basically one paragraph. I know it's dumb, but it bugs.


  5. I hate word verification! I try to keep it off my blog entirely because it irks me. I found out that my GFC apparently has it, but I can't figure out how to disable it. All the google searches I have done about it are useless as well. 😦


  6. Yes, yes , and yes. I would say that you need to get out of my brain Jennifer, but I think I'm ok with the two of us sharing all of the same excellent thoughts. πŸ™‚


  7. oh, the \”follow me\” should be easy to find, it's just that I have several blogs so when you're looking at my profile page it may be hard to find my main, I should delete some of them….


  8. I laughed very hard at this. We discussed word verification before. It is getting more and more difficult. I guess it usually says \”Prove that you are not a Robot\”. As a result of being unable to read one after another after another challenge, I am coming to the realization that I am indeed a machine!


  9. Exactly!!to all of this!!I've discovered that word verification off but moderating posts older than 14 days works really well. Very little spam gets through and most of that is on older posts so moderating those works.


  10. I hate those word verifications too! I often have to try two or three times to get it right. I've only ever had ONE spam message actually make it through my filter. As for all your other points, I don't even make it to the word verification point if the font is hard to read or everything is flashing at me like I'm in a casino. πŸ™‚


  11. I have to agree with all of the above! I've gone to blogs that either never finish loading, or load all messed up and with graphics missing (including the header). Sometimes there's one that has lots to look at that does interest me, but I end up feeling so overwhelmed I can't stay, much less read any content! And I can't read reviews where people have put in bold the sentences they want to stand out – it's like getting a secondhand book and finding other people's comments and underlinings all through it. Can't think for myself! But also, when it's done too much, it's hard on the eyes and I can't follow the lines. Funny that. And word verification drives me insane.


  12. You hit on every one of my pet peeves! I don't know which one is more obnoxious…when music blares, I mute my sound. And I'm going blind enough with the word verifications (who picks those ridiculous unreadable choices?), so if your font is illegible, you can bet I won't return!Thanks for sharing!


  13. LOL, love you too! Everyone I know pretty much feels the same way about crowded/noisy/blinky/hard to read blogs. So why are there so many of those crowded/noisy/blinky/hard to read blogs out there? I just don't get it!


  14. Bahaha thanks for the laugh, was just what I needed and yep you nailed some of my pet peeves. Now you've got me thinking though; does my bum look big in this aka Is my blog up to scratch? now that's a blog post I'm going to write! Ps unicorns and sunshine isn't nearly as much fun :))


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