Please use the smallest font size you possibly can, the smaller the better.
Enable word verification because deciphering those suckers is a hoot.
Use a dark background and a neon font color.
Make sure music plays automatically when I open your page.
Is it wicked hard for me to interact with you? Super!
Clutter the hell out of your page. Preferably with blinking buttons and ads.
Normally I’m not such a crab-ass.
Tomorrow I’ll be unicorns and sunshine. I promise.