Saturday Night Widows by Becky Aikman

Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Publication Date: January, 2013
Categories: Personal Memoir, Death & Dying, Women

Description:

In her forties – a widow, too young, too modern to accept the role – Becky Aikman struggled to make sense of her place in an altered world.  In this transcendent and infectiously wise memoir, she explores surprising new discoveries about how people experience grief and transcend loss and, following her own remarriage, forms a group with five other young widows to test these unconventional ideas.  Together, these friends summon the humor, resilience, and striving spirit essential for anyone overcoming adversity.

Meet the Saturday Night Widows: ringleader Becky, an unsentimental journalist who lost her husband to cancer; Tara, a polished mother of two, whose husband died in the throes of alcoholism after she filed for divorce; Denise, a widow of just five months, now struggling to get by; Marcia, a hard-driving corporate lawyer; Dawn, an alluring self-made entrepreneur whose husband was killed in a sporting accident, leaving two small children behind; and Lesley, a housewife who returned home one day to find that her husband had committed suicide.

The women meet once a month, and over the course of a year, they strike out on ever more far-flung adventures, learning to live past the worst thing they thought could happen.  They share emotional peaks and valleys – dating, parenting, moving, finding meaningful work, and reinventing themselves – while turning traditional thinking about loss and recovery upside down.  Through it all runs the story of Aikman’s own journey through grief and her love affair with a man who tempts her to marry again.  In a transporting story of what friends can achieve when they hold each other up, Saturday Night Widows is a rare book that will make you laugh, think, and remind yourself that despite the utter unpredictability and occasional tragedy of life, it is also precious, fragile, and often more joyous than we recognize.


My Thoughts:

Although being a widow is something you can’t understand unless you are one, Saturday Night Widows gives us a glimpse of what it means to lose your spouse. You would assume that this would be a devastatingly sad read. While there are sections that will break your heart the overall message is a positive one.

I loved these women. I was rooting for them throughout their journeys. They face financial issues, heartache and archaic ideas about how a widow should act. They do so with such grace and fortitude that you’ll applaud them.

There’s a bit of a You Go Girl! vibe to this book but it’s not corny. I promise. It’s a lovely read about how friendship can pull you through the very worst of times.

Sharp by David Fitzpatrick

Sharp by David Fitzpatrick
Publisher: William Morrow/Harper Collins
Publication Date: August 2012
Categories: Personal Memoir, Self Harm
Source: William Morrow/Harper Collins

Description:
Sharp is the story of a young man who began his life with a loving family and great promise for the future. But in his early twenties, David Fitzpatrick became so consumed by mental illness it sent him into a frenzy of cutting himself with razor blades. In this shocking and often moving book, he vividly describes the rush this act gave him, the fleeting euphoric high that seemed to fill the spaces in the rest of his life. It started a difficult battle from which he would later emerge triumphant and spiritually renewed.


Fitzpatrick’s youth seemed ideal. He was athletic, handsome, and intelligent. However, he lived in fear of an older brother who taunted and belittled him; and in college, his roommates teased and humiliated him, further damaging what sense of self-esteem he still carried with him. As he shares these experiences, Fitzpatrick also recounts the lessons learned from the broken people he encountered during his journey—knowledge that led to his own emotional resurrection.

My Thoughts:
 Sharp is far from an easy breezy read. It is full of self-harm and self-hate with an unhealthy dose of self-pity thrown into the mix. David Fitzpatrick gives us a horrifying account of his spiral into mental illness and cutting that took over his life for more than 15 years. 

Even though David’s story was heartbreaking I had too many issues with the book to fully enjoy it. I didn’t sense a lot of honest story telling. The dialogue rang false. His brother seemed like the mildest sort of bully. His college roommates sounded like assholes but not dangerous ones. After over 15 years of being in and out (mostly in) of group homes and hospitals David is almost miraculously cured? I didn’t buy it. 

As with every book I read, I wanted to like this. I wanted to feel empathy for the author. I wanted to come away from this with a better understanding of mental illness. Those things didn’t happen.